Volitional Change

For several decades, theorists have speculated that people who are deeply dissatisfied with their lives may begin desire to change their personality traits Baumeister, 1994; Kiecolt, 1994. However, until recently, very few studies have systematically examined people's desires to change specific traits, such as extraversion or conscientiousness. Thus, until recently, very little was known about how common it is for people to want to change their traits—or why such desires might arise.

Do People Want to Change Their Personalities?

Do people even want to change their personality traits? Or are such desires relegated to only the most dissatisfied individuals e.g., Baumeister, 1994; Kiecolt, 1994? In some of my pioneering research on change goals—desires to change personality traits—my colleagues and I have found that the vast majority of people want to change at least some aspects of their personality traits Hudson & Fraley, 2016b; Hudson & Roberts, 2014. Indeed, as can be seen in Figure 1, approximately 90% of people say that they wish they were more extraverted (e.g., outgoing, comfortable in social situations), agreeable (e.g., kind, loving), conscientious (e.g., responsible, hardworking), emotionally stable (e.g., calm, less stressed), and open to experience (e.g., adventurous, creative) Hudson & Fraley, 2016b. Thus, change goals are normative. In other words, it is not only the most dissatisfied individuals who wish to change themselves. Rather, almost everyone wants to change something about themselves.

Which Traits Do People Want to Change?

As depicted in Figure 2, in one survey of 6,800 adults, my colleagues and I found that the number one trait people want to change is emotional stability Hudson & Fraley, 2016b. People who are highly emotionally stable feel relatively few negative emotions, such as stress, anxiety, anger, or sadness. Thus, most people want to feel happier and less stressed. As a close second, people also want to be more conscientious—thorough, responsible, hardworking, organized, and punctual. Nevertheless, most people also want to become more extraverted, agreeable, and open to experience, as well.

Why Do People Want to Change Their Traits?

People want to change their personality traits for both intrinsic and extrinsic reasons Hudson, 2019; 2021a; for an overview of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation, see Deci & Ryan, 1985; 2000. With respect to intrinsic motivation, the big five personality traits—extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability, and openness to experience—are socially desirable in and of themselves Dunlop et al., 2012; Hudson & Roberts, 2014. For example, most people believe that it is a good thing to be agreeable—modest, kind, loving, considerate, and helpful e.g., Hudson & Roberts, 2014. Thus, individuals who lack desirable traits—such as agreeableness—may wish to increase in those traits.

People may also desire to change their traits for extrinsic reasons. This means that some people may wish to change their traits in order to obtain some external goal Hudson & Fraley, 2016b; Hudson & Roberts, 2014; Kiecolt, 1994. For example, people who are struggling with their social relationships may wish to become more extraverted—perhaps because they believe that higher extraversion might help smooth their social interactions. Similarly, students struggling with their coursework may wish to become more conscientious—responsible, organized, and hardworking—in order to improve their academic performance. Supporting this idea, my colleagues and I have found that dissatisfaction with life domains is related to goals to change relevant personality traits. For example, students who are dissatisfied with their collegiate experience tend to want to become more conscientious Hudson & Roberts, 2014. Similarly, people's change goals appear to track common, age-graded life challenges. For example, middle-aged adults want to increase in agreeableness to a greater degree than do college-aged adults Hudson & Fraley, 2016b. This may reflect the fact that agreeableness is a useful trait that facilitates the life tasks that dominate middle age—such as caring for children or aging parents.

Can People Change Their Personalities?

The fact that most people want to change their personality traits naturally raises the question: Can people actually change their personalities in desired ways? Some of my research suggests that the answer is likely "yes" Hudson, et al., 2019a; Hudson & Fraley 2015; 2016a; Hudson et al., 2020d. Two lines of research support this conclusion. First, across at least 12 studies, my colleagues and I have found that people tend to change in ways that align with their desires. For example, as can be seen in Figure 3, people who want to become more extraverted tend to actually increase in extraversion over time, at a faster rate than their peers who do not wish to change Hudson, et al., 2019a; Hudson & Fraley 2015; 2016a; Hudson et al., 2020d. Thus, at the very least, people tend to change in ways that align with their desires. Second, several studies have found that interventions designed to help people actively work on changing their personalities can be effective Hudson, 2021b; Hudson et al., 2019a; Hudson & Fraley, 2015. This suggests that individuals may be able to take an active role in manually changing their traits.

How Can People Change Their Traits?

According to modern personality development theories, personality traits change whenever people experience enduring changes to their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors Hudson, 2019; 2021a; Hudson & Fraley, 2017b; Magidson et al., 2012; Fraley, 2017; Roberts, 2018. For example, when people commit to a new job, they oftentimes become more conscientious—thorough, hardworking, and responsible Hudson & Roberts, 2016; Hudson et al., 2012. This is thought to occur because workplaces require people to behave in a conscientious manner. Over long enough periods of time, simply behaving in a highly conscientious fashion may cause people to increase in conscientiousness.

In a similar vein, people may be able to volitionally change their personalities simply by adopting new patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors Hudson, 2021b; 2022; Hudson et al., 2019a; Hudson & Fraley, 2015. In one study, we tested this idea by asking participants whether they would like to increase in extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability, and/or openness to experience Hudson et al., 2019a. Each week for four months, we gave participants suggestions on how they might modify their behaviors to align with their chosen traits. For example, if someone wanted to become more extraverted, we encouraged them to meet new people, assertively interact with others, and engage in a variety of new social activities. Each week, we asked participants whether they followed our suggestions or not.

As depicted in Figure 4, participants who followed our suggestions and changed their behavior tended to experience changes to their personality traits. For example, people who behaved in an extraverted fashion tended to actually increase in extraversion—whereas their peers who did not change their behavior did not tend to experience personality change. Thus, it seems that changing one's behavior to align with desired traits—faking it until one makes it, as it were—may be an effective strategy for volitionally changing personality.

What are the Consequences of Volitional Change?

People's personality traits are linked to a wide gamut of hugely consequential life outcomes, including relationship functioning, occupational success, physical and mental health, and even how long people live Ozer & Benet-Martinez, 2006; Roberts et al., 2007. Thus, it is possible that people may be able to improve important aspects of their lives through volitional personality change.

Along these lines, some of my and my colleagues' recent research suggests that people may be able to improve their well-being through volitional change Hudson & Fraley, 2016a. In one study, we asked participants about how they would like to change their personality traits. We subsequently tracked participants' personalities across time. As can be seen in Figure 5, participants who attained desired changes to their traits tended to report increases in life satisfaction, as well. For example, an individual who wanted to become more agreeable and then actually increased in agreeableness was likely to report that he/she was happier with his/her life as a whole. These findings suggest that successfully pursuing volitional change may have the potential to improve people's lives.

In a similar vein, in one study, I found that people who successfully adhered to an intervention designed to increase their levels of agreeableness also experienced decreases in the dark triad traits of Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy Hudson, 2022. Thus, interventions designed to target the big five personality traits may have collateral effects on other important variables, such as dark personality traits.

Trait-Change Interventions

A large body of research shows that personality traits can and do change over time Lucas & Donnellan, 2011; Roberts et al., 2006; Soto et al., 2011. For example, when people commit to a career, they tend to become more conscientious—responsible, hardworking, and diligent Hudson & Roberts, 2016; Hudson et al., 2012. This phenomenon is thought to occur because workplaces strongly reward conscientious behaviors, such as being hard-working, responsible, and punctual. Thus, over long enough periods of time, merely behaving in a conscientious manner is thought to cause permanent increases to individuals' personality trait levels of conscientiousness Roberts, 2018; Roberts & Jackson, 2008.

Accordingly, some of my recent research has focused on whether encouraging people to adopt trait-typed behavior can change their personality traits. To that end, some of my longitudinal studies have shown that encouraging people to think about their relationships in a more secure manner can lead to gains in attachment security that persist for several months Hudson & Fraley, 2018a. Similarly, some of my research suggests that encouraging people to engage in conscientious behaviors—even if they do not realize that they are being asked to behave conscientiously—can lead to enduring gains in conscientiousness Hudson, 2021b. Finally, I have found that interventions targeting the big five personality traits can have positive collateral effects on other psychologically meaningful outcomes, such as reducing dark traits Hudson, 2022.

Thus, this research suggests that relatively minor interventions may be able to produce meaningful gains in traits that are related to positive life outcomes Ozer & Benet-Martinez, 2006, even if participants are not deeply invested in the intervention process.

Adult Attachment

In adulthood, attachment styles refer to personality differences in how individuals approach close relationships—especially romantic ones Hazan & Shaver, 1987; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016. Attachment styles are comprised of two traits: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance Bartholomew & Horrowitz, 1991; Hazan & Shaver, 1987. People who are high in attachment anxiety tend to worry about their relationships, desire intense closeness, and require lots of time and affection from their partners. In contrast, individuals who are high in attachment avoidance fear intimacy and thus tend to prefer to keep their partners at an arm's length. Individuals who are low in both anxiety and avoidance are called securely attached—and they are comfortable forming close, strong bonds with others.

Change in Attachment Across Time

Much of my research on adult attachment focuses on how and why people's attachment styles change across time. For example, my colleagues and I have found that people tend to decrease in attachment anxiety as they get older Hudson et al., 2015 and that romantic partners experience coordinated changes in their attachment styles (e.g., if one person becomes more avoidant, his/her partner is likely to also experience increases in avoidance) Hudson et al., 2014.

Volitional Change in Attachment

Recently, my colleagues and I have begun to investigate whether people might be able to volitionally change their own attachment styles Hudson et al., 2020b. In two surveys with a combined total of more than 4,000 participants, we found that the vast majority—approximately 80%—of people want to become more securely attached by decreasing in both attachment anxiety and avoidance. More excitingly, in a subsequent study, we found that people tend to change in ways that align with their desires. As depicted in Figure 6, people who wanted to decrease in anxiety or avoidance tend to actually decrease in anxiety or avoidance across time, at a faster rate than their peers who did not wish to change. Thus, these studies suggest that people may be able to volitionally change their attachment styles.

Interventions to Change Attachment

How might people be able to change their attachment styles? Previous research suggests that real experiences in close relationships have the potential to change attachment styles e.g., Arriaga et al., 2018; Davila & Sargent, 2003. For example, having a positive, close relationship with one's romantic partner may lead to decreases in attachment anxiety and avoidance.

However, even in the absence of real relationship experiences, it is possible that psychological interventions may be able to help people move toward having a secure attachment style e.g., Carnelley & Rowe, 2007; Gillath et al., 2008. Recently, my colleagues and I tested two separate interventions designed to help people become more secure Hudson & Fraley, 2018a. In one intervention, we asked participants to write about a positive memory from one of their close relationships, in which they felt secure. In a different intervention, we asked participants to write about a negative memory from one of their close relationships, in which they felt anxious. Participants were asked to write about these memories each week for approximately four months. As depicted in Figure 7, regularly writing about either positive or negative memories each week tended to decrease participants' attachment anxiety, as compared with a control group. Thus, this study suggests that both (1) focusing on positive experiences and (2) "working through" negative experiences in a structured fashion (e.g., journaling) have the potential to move people's attachment styles toward greater security.

Attachment, Goals, and Cognition

In addition to studying how attachment styles change across time, some of my research is devoted to understanding how attachment styles influence people's goals and cognitive processes (e.g., perceptions, memories) in their close relationships. For example, in some recent research, my colleagues and I found that individuals who are high in attachment anxiety tend to experience more numerous false memories than their more-secure peers Hudson & Fraley, 2018b. In three studies, we experimentally manipulated participants' attachment anxiety (i.e., we temporarily made them feel anxious in a laboratory setting by asking them to reflect upon a negative relationship memory), had them watch a 20-minute video, and then gave them a memory test for the material in the video. As depicted in Figure 8, we found that participants induced to experience high levels of attachment anxiety were more likely to experience false memories than their peers in a control group.

The precise mechanisms linking attachment anxiety to false memories are currently not well understood. However, we believe that these findings indicate that highly anxious individuals tend to ruminate upon their relationships and interactions with other people. In other words, highly anxious people spend a lot of time thinking about their relationships and rehashing their social interactions in their minds. As these individuals repeatedly think about prior social events, they may begin to confuse their own thoughts and feelings about what happened with the objective events that actually occurred, leading to false memories. For example, an individual who feels very insecure and frequently worries about rejection may ruminate upon even positive previous social interactions and over time begin to falsely remember feeling rejected during those interactions.